looking

i think where i come from is looking
looking for me
in my nice-to-meet-yous
i look for the right found
in between lost places 
i look for the goodbyes
before i have finished eating my pleasantries
i look for looking
looking for warm staying
never coming never came from warm
i am early cold allergic-to-waiting spring
season looking for flowers to run my fingers through its hair
but i only scattered birdseed for the 
pigeons i stole from city streets
i have seasonal looking as in all seasons 
are for looking when looking is spinning in
every part of my body looking brings me 
shapes colors sounds running 
into looking’s embrace but by running
i mean sitting still without moving an inch
i am looking for looking for moving i am
not looking enough

— Chloe Schoenfeld