bloody mess i call my room by Zeke Cooksey-Voytenko

i watch my life fill my room, my walls splattered with my heart

blood streaks down the walls, at night i feel them squeeze me 

with each inhalation

i feel the blood smear into my skin

i lay in bed unwaveringly still

i imagine myself somewhere else

where my blood doesn’t run down the walls

and i’m not caught in each exhale, 

preventing the creature from taking a full breath

sometimes a bit foolishly i talk to the creature

sing it songs, as if i could apologize for being the thing that stops its from breathing

make it easier for inhale

selfishly i stay unwavering still so that when i rot away the blood won’t

choke me, like i choked it,

but paint me in my heart, so maybe i can exist as something else

than the being that prevented life